Hi. I'm Alexandra,
Tantric sexuality coach for man.

I'm specializing on men's sexual empowerment, healing and awakening

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How to give the ultimate blowjob?

All men love getting blowjobs. For men, it is almost greater than their sports team (almost!). Most women don’t like giving blowjobs. In fact, even if you’re in the minority of women who enjoy giving head, chances are you aren’t in the mood to perform as often as your man would like. 

What’s worse is that many relationships have ended because a man decided to go outside of the relationship to find oral satisfaction. To be a naughty girl, you must learn how to give great head in a way that you can also live with. You need to understand the physical and, more importantly, the mental pieces to the blowjob puzzle.

The first blow job (or at least,  written mention of it) appears in Egyptian burial chambers where one can read on the walls extracts narrating the myth of Osiris. After being murdered and cut into pieces, the goddess Isis tried to put the pieces together but could not find his manhood. Resourcefully, she fashioned one out of clay and used her mouth to ‘breathe life into him’ through it.

“There is nothing more feminine than a blowjob. You naked on your knees. Your guy with his hand resting on the back of your head. A perfect blowjob confirms some primal nostalgia. It puts the world in balance.”

― Chloe Thurlow, The Secret Life of Girls

“It’s hard to find great blow-job these days” -complained a male friend the other day.

“Mmm, really? I love giving blowjobs.” – commented casually.

“Well, women I come across, don’t like to do it at all or simply want to get over with it super fast.

But is no joy in it. It feels like going out to a steakhouse, checking the menu with all juicy meat then ordering veggies and craving for the flesh. Overall odd experience.”

Having this chat with him made me think. Started researching the topic online and interviewed my close girlfriends. The result was daunting. The majority said: “ I’m unsure if doing it right.” I only do it, so my guy returns the favour or lets me be, otherwise don’t like it much”.

Found out also that there is a lot of confusion about the parts of male genital areas.

What considered a ‘good blow-job’? To my surprise, many of my grown-ass educated women friends had no or inadequate idea what they should do while performing oral sex.

Why do men love blowjobs so much and even sometimes prefer them over intercourse?

Sucking dick is an art.
An art of surrounding.
Showing appreciation, love, respect and trust towards men. Putting us women into their hand, which is the natural way.
Man love to look down on the women while receiving oral sex and see her as the ‘weak’, small, vulnerable creator who needs his guidance and protectiveness.
Giving blowjob can be an ultimate source of pleasure for both.

In ancient times in Chinese history performing oral sex and drinking the nectar of other could lead to longevity.

Many research shows giving a blowjob has mutual health benefits for both participants.
Next time when you are not feeling to give a blow-job think of it as a fun way to get into ‘facial yoga’ and earn some bonus points with your man. Giving ahead will reduce a risk of breast cancer, high blood pressure, stress and eliminate facial wrinkles.
It’s a win-win for both.
Get down on it Girl!

Blow-jobs have a poor representation in women’s brain due to the porn industry.
Porn illustrates man just stuffing their dick down to that poor girl.
Watching this movie women automatically think their man will accept them to perform all these skills.
Blow-jobs can be the second most intimate, sacred and sexually stimulating act (after kissing) and never should be a forced one.
Ladies have more willingness to explore, and guys remember being a gentleman and let her set her limits when it comes to letting the snake down on her throat or just magically tonguing it.

For sure there are some talented deep-throat queens out there. Women who learnt to take any size and deep-throat without much difficulty.
Yes, deep-throating as the most sexual activity is learnable.
This article will explore blow-jobs for those who don’t know how to start or what to do.
Although I firmly believe, it’s not purely women’s technique, but their attitude towards it has to change.

“Oral sex should always be consensual activity.”

Performing any oral sex should be about giving and receiving pleasure.

Guys:

“Want a blowjob?”

Take a step back and let’s step out from expectation.

We are not in a porn scene, we women are feeling, sensitive and sensual human beings with some limitations when comes to oral sex.
Please encourage, communicate, listen to feedback and let your women express their desire and limits when it comes to blowjob depth.

How could your lady learn to love oral sex, if she continually needs to gag on your cock?

Yes, some women able to deep-throat, but the majority did not learn or interested in learning this.
It’s  just the way it is.
Some women (especially if they don’t love oral sex already) will get discouraged by doing it at all if they feel pressured to take it all in.
Don’t be shy ladies, express your feelings and desires on how you will like to do.

I love giving long, sensual, passionate blow-jobs. Still get an instant ‘gag reflex’ just by thinking of deep throating, so I make sure no-one push anything down on my throat I’m not comfortable with.

“The best way to get over one man is to go down on another.”

― Chloe Thurlow, The Secret Life of Girls

My sexual well-being and desires deserve top priorities when it comes to giving heads. To give an awesome blow-job, I must feel relaxed, desired, wanted, not overruled by any man.

Gentlemen, don’t forget to be a gentleman when it comes to oral sex it will get you further than pushing it. We, women, intend to do the opposite when under pressure.

Let you women explore, decided on set her boundaries and please always be hygienic and shave if possible.

Bonus tip: Reflection from the other way around: how would you feel if your women would start to shove down a big cucumber or dildo in your mouth?

Mmmmm? Yes, that’s right: you would feel awkward, start gagging, choking on it. Would you feel sexy? Don’t think so. Unless you have an enormous sum of submissive male energy and desire for deep throating cock, but most straight men would feel awkward so does women.

Women might have had some past experiences while giving a head, so it might take the time to get her out the ‘snail house’, just be patient. Women have not got enough confidence when it comes to oral sex.

Basics: Let your women explore your penis, balls, anus area. Let her take control of rhythm, depth and encourage her with sexy or dirty words to get more into it.
All these will get her into the mindset she is a goddess and most likely results more pleasurable blowjob experiences for you.

Do not force her anything that she does not like to do. I’m confident if she feels respected, honoured, supported in this exploration she will get more adventures with no time.

Most men are simple when it comes to oral sex. They want to have some release; a blow job would do almost same for them as sex.  As I’m a woman, so don’t know for sure how it feels, but what I heard from male friends: “Oral sex can be same pleasurable experience as intercourse.”

Pumping your mouth feels like a little tight vacuum around their cock, exactly same when they have intercourse.

Man’s penis can be various size, curved, cut or with ‘skin’, so we women need to start by slowly exploring what we got to deal with during oral sex. Examine, stroke, gently pull your man’s magic wand with your hands before taking him in your mouth. Please forget what your Mummy thought you about that putting things in your mouth is bad. I give you permission to go out there and start exploring dick-land.

Great, so we got the history and shame out of the picture, let’s get practical:

How to give a mind-blowing blow job to your man step by step?

Step 1: Build Anticipation:

As you don’t appreciate the man, who kick the front door and go right in licking you. Men like to be teased as well. Building anticipation will increase his desires to get his dick in your mouth. You can tease him verbally, physically and also with a “push-pull” effect. Give a little, then take it away from him.

Example for building anticipation:

Give him a quick kiss on his lips or neck. Lick or whisper into his ears. Touch his head run your fingers down on his back. Touch him ” accidentally” down there while he is doing something else.

Seduction leading to oral sex or more:

The man is sitting on the sofa watching his favourite game. You walk and sit next to him. Pretend to watch the game for few minutes with him. ( Some reason man who loves football, finds this already a huge turn on, haha don’t know why, but it’s true story they love women who are interested in their ‘game and team’).

Turn to him, kiss his cheek, maybe slide your tongue into his ears little. Whisper some naughty words like: “Oh darling; it’s such a shame the game is on now; we could be doing something much more exciting right now”. Smile, flirt and wink on him. Playing with his senses and mind than get up off the couch and leave him.

If you have a strong sexual connection, that will indicate for him; you want to play. Football game fanatics or if you are new to one other. After licking his ears, kissing his neck. ‘Accidently’ touch his knees, run your hands up in his tights towards his genital areas. At this point, very important do not feel his cock only explore the genital areas, thighs through his shorts.

Just play with your fingers, explore his tights. By then he should have his head messed up enough that signs should start showing through his pants. Haha And the neck movement. Looking the TV and you, can’t make sense what’s going on here. Most likely with a massive hard on by now 🙂

Step 2: Men are visual creatures

Man as much as they like to do it, they want to see all of it. Want to see how their penis penetrates and get ‘lost’ in your mouth. It’s no exception for this. The psychology in man’s brain when receiving blow-job. In history, the man likes to be the active, dominant and provider.
Think of like this next time when you are giving a blowjob to your partner. You surround yourself to his manhood which will harvest the nectar in the end. It’s up to you to drink or spit.

The man likes to stay in control, empowered and look down on you while getting a blow-job. It’s the natural way of life. The man is dominant and the women submissive.
Man love the visual effect of blow-job.
The best position to do blow-job on your man.

Kneel in front of him. Place a towel under your knees. Start to explore his penis, stroke with your fingers up and down.

Think like you exploring a surprise. Some man has blood-cock, and some have great meatloaf. I favorize the blood-cocks, which look small and gradually growing in your mouth for stroking and sucking it.
Sucking a cock can be a profound and somehow spiritual experience if you let your worries go and just go with the feeling.
It’s the total immersion of surrounding your man’s wish and giving your mouth completely to him. Something super sexy in when you are licking with your tongue all the way up and down in his penis, keeping eye contact and examine his reactions.

Great blowjobs and eating a girl’s pussy out can lead to a happy and sexually very satisfying long-term relationship.

Step 3: Girl you must like that lollipop or ice-cream:


Remember when you were a kid, did you like to eat lollipop or ice-cream? I used to love those sweet and sour lollipops. Lick, suck and take them into my mouth. I also noticed during the years people who can’t eat (lick) and ice-cream usually doesn’t give great head on. Maybe it was in my DNA, don’t think so. It’s all about practising. Practice makes perfect.

Step 4: Let loose girl

You have to show you enjoying yourself. Making sounds while playing with his cock, will instantly turn him on. Don’t overact it, just try to keep it natural. Small deep sensual signs work the best. Find your rhythmic and just breath through the sucking motion with some signs in and out. Same as yoga, the key for good blow-job to find your perfect pace for it. One lick, suck, vacuum here there and here. You could stay longer if you breathe through your nose.

Advance version: Communicate. Tell how much it turns you on while feeling his cock growing in your mouth. When it comes to sex talk, no need to go overboard, just saying: ” I love your big cock” “Love your taste” “Love how big you become in my mouth” would do magic in your man’s confidence and size 🙂

Communication makes it more authentic the blowjob experience for both parties and will create a deeper link between lowers.

It will help to boost confidence to explore more exciting areas such as the anus.

5 Step: Keep an eye contact

You might feel intimidated first, but the more you practise, the better you get to keep your eyes focused on him while sucking his dick. Eyes are a reflection of your soul. Your eyes will show him how much you are enjoying his greatest gift.

Think like this: it’s a flirt.

When you flirt, you look there and away. You can flirt with his cock too, right? You look at it for a while when sucking; you close your eyes then suddenly open your eyes and look straight in his with fired up desires. Man would die right there and beg you for more.

Step 6: Use your hands, both if needed!!!!

Step 7: “Fake it until you make it!”

Learning to love BJ, take practice. You are a good actress, so why not have fun with this too. Try to let your boundaries, past limitations go off and use some positive suggestion: “I love sucking cock” “I’m great sucking cock” you will notice with no time you will become an expert in it!

Ask yourself: Do you like your man go down on you? You like it, don’t you? We, women, want to be equal in everything, so this should be equal too. Enjoying yourself while giving a head-on is the biggest turn on for a man. If you into it, they get into it more. Practice and develop your unique style. As no two same cocks, as no two similar pussy.

If nothing works in real life:

Practice at home, use a banana, finger, dildo until you feel like a pro. Build up your confidence and get a real one in your mouth!

However, there are some basics to cover to give an excellent blowjob next time to your man, here are some tips:

1: Don’t rush him:

Get into it gradually. First stroke the genital area. Get familiar with the penis and the balls size and shape. Playing with his balls, you already make a huge jump from the majority women out there.

Balls are super sensitive and deserve careful approach, however some like it rough. Build up is super important as the skin is more sensitive. You can flicker with your tongue, take one or both in your mouth, give a little squeeze or gentle scratch with your teeth. Always keep eye contact to make sure, he is not suffering, but enjoying himself!!

2: God gave you a mouth, tits, hands for a good reason use it all!!!

Use all of it. First, it will help you not to get a neck or jaw pain. The second man loves different stimulation. Softer, harder and pushing their cock in all holes and places. The simple, remember just want to stuff their cock into something. If you have bigger tits, letting him use your tits during oral sex will get you some rest and recovery time.

3: Explore all areas, not just the penis

We already explored the penis and balls, now let’s get little more adventures. I’m talking some dirty business ( aka rimming). Okay, best no such thing happens. Preparations, wash, hygiene and trust is crucial to make it enjoyable for both.

4: Use sensation play

Ice, ice baby. Take an ice-cube right into your mouth right before you will give a blow job. Some would go shy and some will grow big, but for sure it’s an amazing vibrating feeling.

Ladies today’s motto:

“Relax your jaw and suck some balls.”

Blowjob Bag of Tricks and Tips:

Try french kissing the penis, balls and anus.

Present rimming on your man while working his penis. 

Give a prostate massage while doing blowjob or hand job!

Prostate massage is excellent for more intense sexual stimulation while giving a blow-job, often helps man to reach orgasm immediately. The prostate or “male G-spot”. Some men can achieve orgasm through stimulation of the prostate gland, such as prostate massage or receptive anal intercourse, and men who report the sensation of prostate stimulation regularly give descriptions similar to females’ accounts of G-spot stimulation.

Prostate stimulation can produce stronger and more powerful orgasms than solely pential stimulation.

Prostate massage may also be a standard, not taboo sexual practice in couples sex lives. The advent of equipment and products for prostate massage encourages people to try it. Many couples though do not purchase such devices but use a finger for anal penetration and prostate stimulation to enhance the man’s orgasm. The finger or the prostate massager is introduced into the rectum through the anus, and the prostate gland is gently massaged. The main problem in using the finger is that it may be too short to reach the prostate gland. Prostate massage can be performed individually or with the help of a partner. Some men prefer being anally stimulated by their partner during foreplay or after their primary form of sexual activity.

There are safety matters relating to prostate stimulation and anal penetration. Highly recommended plenty of lubricants used during with prostate massagers to prevent rectal lining damage. A smaller instrument or finger may be introduced gradually to decrease the discomfort that some may feel. Massages may be used with or without a condom; however, because of the bacteria found in the rectum, if a condom is not used, it is essential to clean the tool with soap before utilisation in another orifice or by a partner. Receiving anal stimulation may cause feelings of having to evacuate.

Prostate massage equipment ranges from dildos to butt plugs and G-spot vibrators. Prostate dildos are similar to vaginal dildos, but they tend to be more curved, slimmer and with a softer texture. Some of the new prostate dildos on the market are driven by batteries and offer vibration at the tip; the speed or intensity of which may be changed depending on the subject’s personal preference. Unlike vaginal dildos, the anal prostate massager has a flared end to prevent it from being fully inserted and ‘lost’ inside the rectum.

Some men prefer butt plugs, which are easy to use, can be added freely and left in place while the man’s hands are free for other sexual activities such as masturbation. Anal plugs also come in various shapes, sizes and designs and are not commonly intended to stimulate the prostate.

If you ask me, mastering your blow-job with G-spot stimulation is the magic button to “I love you” “OMG, what have you done to me” could lead to getting that ring on. No, not the cock-ring I referring too.

Overall conclusion. Sucking dick is an art.

You’ve got to be passionate and willing to give it a try. (mindset is more important than a perfect technique)

Examine what you are working with. Have your hands run through it. Feel it. Get it wet. Guys like it sloppy, so either you split, or you use coconut oil. Don’t forget it’s not about you. It’s about him. Use your tongues. Keep your mouth tight as possible. It supposes to feel like a vagina. On the top, there is the little spot you should work that with circular motions. If you can’t take it all in, use your hands. Draw circles in your man’s penis cup or up and down motion.
Don’t forget it’s a full package deal!

Hope you ladies find this tutorial useful. Comment below if you got any magic tricks tips or you topics you want to learn more. Happy mind-blowing days and please share this with your girlfriends to have a less orally frustrated man and orally confident women out there.

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Alexandra Guru

SEXUALITY COACHING & TANTRIC BODYWORK FOR MAN