Will watching porn lead to relationship disintegration? Or can it enhance sexuality in a relationship?
In today’s fast-paced technological developing world porn has never been easier to access.
Some Pornography Statistics ( in the U.S)
- 40 million adults in the U.S. visit internet pornography sites on a regular basis.
- 1 in 5 internet searches on a mobile device is for pornography.
- Men who are happily married are 61% less likely to look at porn.
- 20% of men admit to viewing pornography at work.
- 88% of porn scenes contain physical aggression.
- 49% include verbal aggression. *
How does pornography affect your personal well-being?
Watching porn when you not yet sexually developed can cause major problems as an adult. Parents should try to keep away teenagers watching explicit content on the web because of how it sets up the perception of normal. We will all at some point in life come across porn. Either by curiosity or by accident. We watch it by ourselves or with a partner. It can be both revolutionary or traumatic experience depending on our morals and mental state. The effect is linked to our maturity when we view it.
How does pornography affect your behaviour in a relationship?
There is a huge debate between mental health researchers and psychologists on the behaviour of pornography viewers. Studies show that most heavy pornography consumers are facing real-time sexual dysfunction, performance-based sexual issues, anxiety, depression, lack of self-confidence and more.
Women can feel worthless, degraded or unwanted if their partner secretly watches porn as an alternative to sex and intimacy. Especially when there has been no discussion with them. Watching porn secretly can lead to total separation and lack of communication and intimacy in the relationship.
Who watches pornography?
We all imagine single men browsing for porn online on a lonely night in a dark room. However, the reality shows porn has been widely used in both genders. International researchers estimate that rates of consumption of pornographic content can range from 50% to 99% of men and 30% to 66% of women.
When it comes to pornography, and it’s demographics?
Online porn sites made things available to all. Viewers of all ages have easy access from all devices. It gives 24/7 opportunity to release sexual tension without working through it. Many ask the question:
“Why bother with a real person and feelings when you can get as good as the real thing online?”
Is watching porn always bad?
In my opinion, no. As with everything in life, if you do it in moderation and share your joy ( sexual fantasies) with your partner it can bring couples closer. Having a ‘partner in crime’ is better than getting caught in secret destructive behaviour. Be open and communicate your sexual needs and desires. Always be conscious about what is healthy and what is already pushing at the edge of compulsive behaviour.
How to deal with your partner watching pornography without you?
– Communicate your values. If you don’t like it, speak up. Tell your partner how watching porn makes you feel. Be honest, but don’t just reject him/her or their taste in porn without genuinely trying to understand the truth desire behind it or the need of doing so.
– Discuss how it makes you feel
Pornography can make us feel insecure about our own body and look. Women have a tendency to compare themselves to the main character of the movie. If that’s the case, tell your partner and in the meantime to work in a healthier self-body image and confidence. Many men find it emasculating to find their partner turned on by a man with a better body, bigger penis, more endurance and so on.
Sex is not about how you look it’s about how you feel and able to be present for your partner. And size doesn’t matter, unless you make it matter.
– Compromise
Try to work out what is a great solution for you both when it comes to watching pornography as a habit. If she/he likes to watch porn from time to time and it does not affect your intimacy and connectedness level within the relationship. You can make a weekly/monthly ‘free pass’ for her/ him to enjoy this with or without you. Be non judgmental about it. And do your best not to be jealous. After all, whoever is on the screen doesn’t fall asleep beside your lover.
- Be open to watch at least once his/her fantasy scene : Give it a try, before completely shutting off porn from your sexual repertoire. You never know, might find something you both like. Most women fantasies about lesbian scenes and find watching them exciting. It could be a great match to start watching some hot threesomes and at least experience it through the screen.
How to introduce porn into your sexual repertoire?
Communicate ( open discussion to find out)
Mutual sexual interests and fantasies you are both into. Eliminate taboos, unwanted sexual experiences and fears around certain sexual acts. Get agreement on the boundaries.
Explore options
Find sexual behaviours and acts you both find sexy. It can be as little as using a blindfold or watching a spanking video together. And as far as watching it together clothed or naked.
Start small
Introduce one new sexual act each month. Starting from light to dark. Explicit content is only recommended for adventurous couples. Don’t go overboard with your partner for the first time you put the movie on. You don’t want to scare them off with a gangbang or bukkake before the fun begins at home, do you?
Can porn be the foreplay?
Yes, it indeed can be. Some couple uses porn to enhance their sexual life. I creates variety, help you find mutual interests and opens up a more in-depth connection. Good sex will create more stability in any relationship.
Can porn trigger unsolved sexual traumas or issues?
Yes, it can. That’s why introducing any form of pornography content to your partner should begin with in-depth communication about sexual desires, needs and wants. Help to explore where their personal limits are and at which point they are in their journey of sexual discovery. Asking relevant, clear and direct questions will help to pick the right content to begin with.
Every couple faces issues when it comes to watching porn. Some couples would use porn to enliven their relationship. Some couples would refuse to implement porn as sexual stimulation, and some would agree that’s perfectly fine from time to time to watch some. But what happens when one partner would like to use porn and the other is against it? Should be the desired partner give in? Sneak off and watch porn secretly? Or simply suppress their desire of watching porn? Neither of these.
Let’s dive into this…
There is a massive debate over mental health and addiction researchers about if pornography can be addictive and if it, what’s the psychological effect on the individual. How watching porn affects your emotions and way of interaction within the relationship?
Porn can be very destructive. Leaving women to feel anxious, fear of sexual experimenting and lack of confidence.
Five facts why porn can harm any relationship.
1: Sets unrealistic standards
2: Makes you objectify your partner
3: Leads to isolation within the relationship
4: Makes intimacy seems hard work
5: Demolish trust
Heavy porn users could deal with real-time performance issues.
Dysfunction erection, lack of emotional connection.
Is porn considered cheating? Yes & No.
There is no right answer for this. It’s only you can tell according to your personal values and morals about a relationship. However, if it bothers you. Say it. Don’t keep it inside. Hiding your dislike could lead to significant relationship issues down the road. Having an open communication about the topic is always the best way to address problems and move forward.
If you disagree with the core of watching or not watching porn at all. First try to solve it in-house, if that doesn’t help seek out professional counselling. Unhidden emotions and hurt from disagreeing in such a serious matter could lead tons of unwanted emotions and eventually for the loss of a relationship if stays untreated.
Can porn be addictive?
Yes.
Porn addiction. It’s an addiction form characterised by the person losing real interest in developing intimate close relationships. Instead, they feel it is compulsory to watch pornography (often alone) with or without masturbation. Today’s online porn spreads like a virus. There are several online platforms where people can watch porn anonymously without registration or paying which cause even more accessibility and less real time communication in relationships about desires.
Common signs or side effects of porn addiction
Some research shows that porn addiction has a similar impact on the brain as addictions such as alcohol or drugs.
Some symptoms that you might have porn addiction
– Being unable to stop compulsory behaviour to watch porn every day
– Can not get aroused unless watching porn
– Experience cravings to constantly watch porn
– Feeling empty, lost, unwanted, upset if you can’t watch porn
- Keeping secrets from your partner by watching porn alone ( generating guilt and shame around the activity)
– Lying to your partner about your desires ( watching porn that is self-destructive and putting pressure on the relationship due to false expectation from your partner )
– Continuing watching porn despite consequences – possible loss of job or relationship
– Require an increased amount of porn with more and more explicit content to gain the same sexual arousal or thrill
– Build false expectations onto their partner causing separation and loneliness within the relationship.
Can porn addiction be treated?
Yes.
There are several methods to cure addictive neurological behaviours and habitual patterns. Facing addiction is the first. Seeking out for professional help is second. Keeping a consistent positive mindset even when hard times hit and having alternatives to addictive behaviour is key.
Overall conclusion:
These were my thoughts about porn; we are all different individuals on a different sexual awareness and journey. I suggest, you keep a healthy mind and follow what’s best for your life circumstances and relationship status. Always be honest and communicate your sexual needs and desires. Those character trails will bring partners closer to each other with or without watching porn.
Statistics from
*https://www.psychguides.com/guides/porn-addiction